Tuesday, September 15, 2009

When it is already broken

"The way your kids dash against the shelf, that vase is going to topple over and break any day", my mother cautioned me.
"Let it", I said. "I've already reconciled myself to the vase breaking, so when it does break, I wouldn't feel sad at all."

The vase in question is a blue ceramic one which I had, at one point of time, been rather fond of. Truth be told, I still like the vase, but knowing how boistrous my kids can get, I've put a distance between the vase and me so I wouldn't be distraught if something happens to it.

"You may not care about the vase", my mother joked. "But who is going to sweep up the pieces if the vase breaks?"
"That is the easy part", I shot back. "It would be slightly harder to find another container for my bamboo shoots."

Though I joke about it, the fact is that I am mentally reconciled to fact that sooner or later, the vase is going to be smashed. I have played out the scenario in my mind several times - me unemotionally ordering the kids out of the room before sweeping the shards into a garbage bag. In that alternative scenario, I'll place the bamboo shoots in a seldom used jug of water till such time as I am able to get an unbreakable container for them.

My mother didn't share my blase attitude.The vase has now found its way to a seldom frequented corner of the dining room. But even there, the probability of one of the kids running into the vase and breaking it is rather high.

But when you have already accepted that the vase is broken, every day additional day that it stays intact is a bonus, isn't it?

And isn't it the same with Life. The day you start accepting that things are never going to be perfect, that things that can go wrong will go wrong, isn't that the day when you stop being disappointed when things don't go your way?

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Anonymous said...

I guess you're right... although I don't really want to spend my life expecting disappointments. On the other hand, it is important to realize that life is to be enjoyed because of and in spite of its imperfections!

Lisa said...

I think it is different than expecting disappointments. It is accepting that in life, things are going to happen. We can rail against them, or we can say, "I see. Another twist in this beautiful thing called life. What can I learn from it?"


Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

That is so true. When you expect chaos (which, in my case, usually happens), the zen moments that happen surprisingly often are that much more appreciated.

Mystery Writing is Murder

Watery Tart said...

You know... this reminds me in a round-about way of the Sword of Truth series I just read--Kahlen, the herione, when leading troops into war, declares the dead already so they have nothing to lose. It frees them to fight with all they have for their cause.

Your approach frees you to allow your boys to be the boys, living their joyful life, instead of trying to constantly reign them in. I think it's wise... then again, you and I agree on most things, no matter how baffled our mothers are.

Rayna M. Iyer said...

@ Fiona - it is not so much to do with expecting disappointments, but accepting that they will happen, so when they do, you are not disappointed.

@ Lisa - you will probably be in this state much more than anyone else. And you would need to be, because the next few years will take more out of you than you even consider possible.

@ Elizabeth - you said it in much fewer words!

@ Tami - another set of books to add to Mount TBR. And yes, we are Thursday Twins after all.

dipali said...

The vase looks beautiful. A long ago nugget of Readers' Digest wisdom: Don't cry over anything that can't cry over you.
I'm not so hassled by broken things needing to be cleared up- it's about the potential injuries by the shards.
My belief that I can 'possess' something only for as long I am meant to, and once that time is up, farewell!


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