It gave much joy

A more conscientious gardener would have weeded it out the moment she saw the first leaves popping up. But this gardener genuinely believes in giving all plants a chance, so she let it be. It grew faster than she anticipated- which weed doesn’t- but she was so worried it might snuff out her mint, she never noticed the familiar pattern of the leaves.

Till one day, she saw a fluffy pom-pom of the palest mauve. A flower that stirred her memory. Many years back, she had a mimosa that gave much joy before it died. Is this a great grandchild?

______
A Drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.

Every curve serves a purpose

Swimming, they say, gives you a total body workout. Have you ever seen a swimmer who doesn’t have a well toned body? Yes, I have. Thousands of them! They go under the name of Whales.

Vegetarian food is better for you than non-vegetarian food, they say. If you want to lose weight you better lay off fried stuff, processed food and alcohol. Does that mean that if I eat lots of greens, I’ll become as slim as an Elephant?

Human women were designed to be curvy- every curve serves a purpose. Why can’t we just accept ourselves as we are?

______
A Drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.
Picture credit - Jacky Fleming

Here's to Digressions

“Will you ever get to the point?”, people often ask me. I’ve learnt to ignore them, because anyone who knows me knows that though I digress, I almost always get to the point, eventually.

Often, even my drabbles are digressions. In with just hundred words, I manage to ramble, before summing it up in half a dozen words, or less. I do run the risk of people misinterpreting me; but I’m not changing who I am to please people who are either too lazy or too dumb to look beyond the words, and interpret what they read.

Here’s to Digressions.
______
A Drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.

Hart Johnson designated February as Digressuary, and I'm hopping on too!

On Ottomans, orgasms, orange and ostriches

[I had a very different O post ready, but made the mistake of visiting Tami, Mari and Tara. And those wonderful friends of mine managed to suck me into their Burrow. You girls owe me one for this !!!]

"Off with his head!!!!"
"Who's?", I asked innocently.
"Carry out my orders or I'll have the Ottoman chop your head off too." The Red Queen was working herself into an orgasm, and I loved it.
"You mean his?", I asked helpfully, pointing to the King of Hearts. "Your Majesty, if you do that, the King of Clubs will become the King, and you will no longer be queen."
"Not his", she yelled. "You know I meant that orange ostrich that dared move it's head when I tried to strike."
I released the flamingo, and let it peck off her nose.

_____

A drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.

Last year,  it was O for Orange Belt

If I were a .......

If I were a: MONTH, I would be JUNE. Not because I was born in June (which I was), but because the month is so unpredictable. The sweltering heat, the anticipation of the monsoons, cooling down, puddles, waterlogging. It is a fun month, if you can handle it.

If I were a: DAY, I would be THURSDAY, of course. I was born on a Thusday. Thursday is in the middle of the work week, but is close enough for you to start making plans for the weekend. The fun of being there, the excitement of looking forward to something new.

If I were a: TIME OF DAY, I would be EVENING. The time when I come alive. Time with my kids, time to read, time to write. Time to be myself.

If I were a: SEASON, I would be SUMMER. I crib about the heat and the humidity, but unless it is really hot, the rains wouldn't come and the crops wouldn't grow. That's me. I can be irritating at times, but serve a useful purpose. .....and, I like to belive I am hot in my own way.

If I were a: PLANET, I would be JUPITER. Jupiter is the largest one, which is not me. But it rules professional gratification, which is totally me.

If I were a: DIRECTION, I would be UP AND AHEAD. Don't tell me that is not really a direction, but I prefer to look forward and not look back, so there you are.

If I were a: TREE, I would be MARGOSA. A large tree, which shelters lots of birds, provides shade for people on tropical highways, and has more medicinal uses than most other trees put together. I also find he pretty, though not many people agree.

If I were an: ANIMAL, I would be CHEETHA. She's fast and loves running. I would love to go like her someday.

If I were a: MUSICAL INSTRUMENT, I would be DRUMS. Or something equally accessible. Something that doen't need much practice, but which you can really practice on too if you so wish.

If I were a: FRUIT, I would be MANGO. I am an Indian, 'nuff said.

If I were a: FOOD, I would be BOMBAY STREET FOOD. Something that is whipped up in a jiffy, is wonderfully tasty, and which is affordable for (almost) all.

If I were a: COLOR, I would be GREEN. I love plants. Can I choose any other colour?

If I were a: BOOK, I would be a WiP. Lots of work yet to do done on me, but getting there.

If I were a: SONG, I would be TWINKLE, TWINKE LITTLE STAR,perhaps. A simple song, but deceptive in its simplicity.

If I were a: MOVIE, I would be one of those complicated ones that nobody ever really understands.

If I were a: FLOWER, I would be LANTANA. Not the most showy of plants, but one that grows on you. And it keeps away mosquitos and other pests, and attracts butterflies.

If I were a: FACIAL EXPRESSION, I would be
If you figure out what that means, do let me know.

I'm not tagging anyone because I am not sure how many of you have already done it. But please feel free to pick it up if you want to do it.

And off to read what others have said - didn't want them to influence

R for ... eRm, eR, eRm... well, R for a lot of things

Monday morning on the way to work, I had my R post written in my head- R for Religion, and the post was supposed to be about the religious intolerance that some schools dig into their student's heads in the name of religious instruction.

But by the time I got down to writing it, my six year old was reading out something to his younger brother, who was laughing hysterically at it. I found that my son was going "lada lada lada" over the words he did not know, and I wanted to blog about it. R for Reading it was going to be.

But before that happened, I got thinking about my poor right knee, and about how I decided to rest it for a few weeks to give it a chance to recover from the battering it has been receiving recently. R for Running it could have been, but I realised I have blogged about that very often in the past.


When I woke up in the morning, I knew I had to write my R post, but I just couldn't make up my mind what to blog about. Any of the above, all of them, or none of them.

So finally I decided to make it "R for the 3 Rs". Reading, wRiting and 'Rithmetic are supposed to be the three things that constitute an education. Strangely, I am passionate about all three. As my facebook profile says, "I read because I do not know what else to do in the spare time that I do not have. I write to get those pesky characters out of my head." And 'rithmetic because I can't dream of a life when I did not have numbers to play with.

Hopefully tomorrow's post would make a little more sense than this one did.

Knowing the audience

Two days before the New Year, we had a "End of the Year" party in office. Everyone had to bring a single present, which would be gifted to a person chosen at random. The price range had been specified, but we were told we could pick up something more expensive if we wanted to.

I normally take my time over buying presents, so never deluded myself into believing it would be easy. But I don't think I ever realised just how hard it could be to buy something for a person you know nothing about.

Most of the girls in office like the accessories I wear. If I knew for sure that the recipient would be a female, I could have bought something that most people would have liked. But what if the name I drew out happened to be male?

I could have bought a funky cap but what if the message just didn't gell with the recipient? In my social circle, curios are always a safe bet, but they just will not work as gifts inan organisation where many of the programme staff live in slum communities where seven members of a family squeeze into an area less than that of my bedroom.

Books are always safe gifts, but how can you buy a book for a person you know nothing about- English or Hindi, funny or realistic, fiction or non-fiction, spiritual or irreverent - no, books were out. What then?

I finally settled on a coffee mug. A chunky thing, with a picture of a koala bear. It was a gift that said nothing, meant nothing, but which would work for practically every recipient. When I knew who was getting the gift, I was glad I did not choose any of the other half a dozen things I thought of, but equally, I was sad that the gift would not be as perfect as the other gifts I could have given the same person.

Isn't it the same with almost everything else? When you know who your reader is, isn't it easier to write for him/ her?

URG, AP, FYI

A colleague sent this mail the other day -

Sub- AP: Let's improve out Outlook :-)

Hi,

I land up spending a large part of the day just answering/addressing mails. I am sure that others in our team also face this problem. Given this situation here are a few suggestions that may help us improve the way we communicate via mail.

1. Let’s not email , if we can just talk and manage/resolve the task/issue at hand

2. When emailing use one of these three prefix’s, in the subject :

URG – urgent action needed (action is expected from the receiver on the same day). The urgent action should be clearly mentioned on the last line of the mail.

AP – action point (action is expected from the receiver in the near future). The action pt should be clearly mentioned on the last line of the mail.

FYI – this is only to keep the receiver informed about matter relevant to him/her.

This will help us filter, review and act on our mails more effectively. ( I have applied this for the subject of this email itself).

3. Also, lets attempt to keep the mails as short and specific as possible. We will improve our efficiency, if we can keep the mails sharp and action oriented.

AP: if you find this useful, forward this to your team members and let’s start using this system asap.

I request all (my) team members to start applying this system from today itself.

Thanks,

The man (and yes, it was a man) spends the better part of the day reading and replying to mails? I must admit I was slightly envious - it takes me less than ten minutes to get through my Inbox every morning. Am I so redundant that nobody feels the need to send me enough mails to take up the better part of the day, or am I plain unloved?

Have I ever spent an entire day on e-mails? I think not - some days it takes ten minutes to get through my mails, on other days it takes half an hour, but never outside that range. Yes, there are those mails that require action - review this, respond to that, provide information to a third, but that is "work", that is not "e-mails".

Maybe my colleague spends so much time on e-mails because he doesn't make the distinction that I do? But surely not. If that were the case, he would not propose segregating e-mails into FYI, URG and AP categories. Maybe the man really does get a lot more mails than I do.

But, even so, how does one go about segregating mails, and putting the category in the subject line? The same mail could be URG for one person, AP for three, and FYI for five. I normally address the mail "To:" the people in the URG and AP categories, and "CC:" the FYIs, and presume others do so too while sending a mail to me. So when I am "CC-ed" on a mail, I skim read the contents, and read more carefully when something is addressed "To" me.

When tried pointing out the basic flaw in the scheme to him, it took me three tries before I could get him to understand how it was impossible to mention the category in the Subject line. He even went to the extent of suggesting we send three copies of the same mail, and just couldn't get why it would not work.

When he finally got my point, he came up with the idea of ending every e-mail by mentioning the three categories, and the names on each of them. What a perfectly original idea!!! I end long-winded mails sent to multiple recipients by putting down action points against each name, the last line of which typically is -

X, Y and Z - FYI

But apparently, that is not good enough, because unless the FYI comes first, you do not know which category you fall under.

Maybe there is some logic to it, which my simple mind is not able to grasp. Or maybe I am just jealous that I get only ten minutes worth of e-mail every day, while others get so many more than I do.

How much time do you spend on e-mails? Would having URG, AP or FYI in the Subject line help you be more efficient in handling e-mail communications?

Hollywood in Bollowood country

Indians are passionate about movies, and you find Bollywood stars staring at you from the most unexpected places.

But what you do not expect to find are cardboard cutouts of Hollowood stars gracing the front of a roadside barber shop.

Is my surprise an example of stereotyping? Just because the people likely to patronise the establishment are unlikely to be fluent in English doesn't necessarily mean they can't be passionate about Hollywood movies, does it?

The paper cup

Before boarding a suburban train, I picked up a cup of tea at the station the other day. I sipped it while walking down the platform, but when I finished it, I could not find a garbage bin in which to dispose off the paper cup. The train was late, so I walked up and down the platform looking for a garbage bin, but to no avail.

My movements did attract attention, and a railway employee who happened to be lolling around asked me what I was trying to do.

"Looking for a place to throw this paper cup", I told him.

"Arey, itna tension kyon leta hai (why are you getting so hecked up about it)", he asked. "phenk do na kahin bhi (just chuck it anywhere)". He indicated the rail tracks with a shrug of his shoulder - that was where he wanted me to deposit the paper cup.

"Isn't there a bin anywhere?", I asked.

"Chori ho jata hai (they get stolen)", he informed me, in way of an answer.

I could have chucked the paper cup on the tracks. After all, when so many people do, does one paper cup more or less really make any difference? But I couldn't bring myself to. When I tell my kids not to litter, I can't really be littering myself, can I?

I had the cup in my hand when I boarded the train. Before we were our of the station, my cup indicated that she wanted to sit on the window sill and enjoy the view. She sat very quietly during the entire journey. By the time we got to the station where I wanted to alight, the train had got pretty crowded, and both of us were crushed as we made our way to the door.

No garbage bins at that station either, nor anywhere on the half a mile walk to my office. The cup and me made it to the office at the same time, and she watched me with barely concealed amusement as I signed the attendence sheet and made up an official excuse for being late.

We had been through so much together, that I couldn't bring myself to chuck her into my bin. She sat on my desk all evening, and when it was time to go home, I very reluctantly laid her to sleep in my dustbin. It was like letting a friend go!

Think about it. If there were garbage bins in India, people would never get to make the acquaintance of paper cups!

Grammer Police

After struggling with the Laws of of English Grammar for several years, in the Seventh Grade, I finally declared war on the Prophets Wrenn and Martin. Which explains why I never quite got down to mastering the difference between a simple clause and a compound one, and have remained ever ignorant about participles, subjects and conjugates (even thinking of these words is like walking through minefields in the memory).

Which is why, I was really happy to receive these 31 very simple rules that I had to follow to ensure that everything I churned out was grammatically correct.

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

19. The passive voice is to be ignored.

20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can
use it correctly.

26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And the last one...

31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.



Which of these rules do you always follow. Which ones do you never follow?

Collage

This one looked fun, so I had to attempt it- 

The method:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.

b. Using only the first page, pick an image.

c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your favourite celebrity?

6. Favorite drink?

7. Dream vacation?

8. Favorite dessert?

9. What you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. One Word to describe you.

12. Your login name

Not sure if the collage is quite what I would have created to describe myself, but I do rather like it.

Pachyderms

Ever since my friend Mari blogged about how sketching giraffes has almost become her trademark, I have been doodling elephants everywhere.


Meetings that go on long past their scheduled time have now taken on a new meaning. More elephants can be found in my spiral-bound, square-line notebook than in the forests of Mudumalai.

The car window steamed up on the way to work, and before I knew it, an elephant was up there engrossed in observing the street life of Bombay.

My son wanted a star for doing his homework well. He got an elephant instead.

I sketched an elephant on the fly-page of a book I recently bought even before signing my name.

But I knew things had gone too far when I caught my elephant just before she lumbered onto a cheque.


Maybe I need to have a strict conversation with my elephant patronus and ask her to keep her sisters in check. Much as I adore pachyderms, I am not sure if I really want them to take over my life.

Bio-drabble

Here's how I had described myself about a year back in a bio-drabble I had written for the Burrow -

What do you say about a 37-year old who likes to write?
That she is the mother of two preschoolers. Encyclopaedia. Disciplinarian. Football coach. Painter. Teacher. Security blanket.
That she was an investment banker, a management consultant, a microfinance specialist and is now with a children's charity.
That she is passionate about running, yoga, gardening, photography, photoshopping, blogging and knitting.
That she adores Cezanne, and loves da Vinci, Monet and Cartier-Besson.
That she loves reading historical dramas, thrillers, mysteries, and science-fiction, but writes only short stories.

A pomegranate has many seeds. Natasha likes to think of herself as one.



Much of it still holds, but like happens often enough, I have have outgrown the bio-drabble. But before sending it into retirement, I wanted to give it one last moment in the sun.

Heard around the forums...

And a friend of mine is without a laptop because her old one died on her. And another was mentioning that after months of hard work, she is finally bikini ready. Which led the first one to comment -

"So I was replying to Leanne's bikini comment over in her thread, and it occurred to me that if I bought a bikini for my laptop, it would not be lap(topless) anymore, but does that mean my laptop would work again?? I'm guessing not, but I'm pretty sure I would get a good giggle if I popped a bikini on the laptop, and they say laughter can be a cure for almost anything..... so even if if the bikini didn't fix said laptop, perhaps the laughter would?"

What would I do without my crazy bunch of Burrowers?

My mad mad friends

If you are known by the company you keep, I wonder what my mad, mad friends say about the kind of person I am.

I had only to post on Facebook the query my older one came up with the other day - why is a mango not called an orange - for them to get into the act.

Within moments of posting, I got my first response -
Tart - Or better yet, why is the color orange not called mango? You could just say the name orange was already taken though... Or bananas aren't called yellows... maybe it is the fact mangos have green, red and yellow outsides... they are only orange on the inside.
And I would register your sons for a philosophy program...

Even before I could respond that I would not wish my kids on any philosophy professor, another piped in -
Viola - Or we could go into the etymology... I believe that orange was actually, originally, "norange", but "a norange" became "an orange" like "a napron" became "an apron"; I think it came from the Spanish "naranj", but then again I don't speak Spanish so... erm... I'm going to shut up now. ;-)

Me - An orange is called narangi in Hindi. Now, who borrowed from whom, I wonder.

Viola - Damn, I knew I should've picked up that book about proto-Indo-European at Raven the other day... then I might actually be able to answer that one. :-P

Hart - Orange the fruit in spanish is indeed naranja (though orange the color is anaranjado-- I believe literally 'of an orange' or 'like and orange')
This is making me crave Tara's lemon, limon distinction. I'll see if I can round it up...

Okay, quoting Tara, and in response to this question:
Isn't a lemon a lame lime?
she said:... Read more
No no, no! A LIME is never lame. A lemon can be lame sometimes,but it all depends on the context. Lemon drops, for example, are extremely lame, but lemon meringues are far from being lame, especially if you add a bit of lime to them. But of course, adding lime to lemon cancels out any lameness that the lemon might have. On the other hand, adding lemons to limes can have the unfortunate effect of 'lamonizing' limes, which is, of course, quite scandalous.

Bee Ess - Narangi could be the origin, like other words of Indian origin - Check & mate from chess were originally Sheh & Maat...but we need to find out whether oranges are a native fruit to India first... :-)

Slug - From what Wikipedia has to offer on the subject, it looks as though the word comes from Tamil and Sanskrit, so it probably is the English language that is the borrower in this case. Which is funny, since many languages (including Norwegian) call the orange a "Chinese Apple" (appelsin). And since I clearly are not interested in doing what I am ... Read moresupposed to be doing, but instead end up doing silly research on the internet, I can recommend the following link to anyone with a special interest: orange


I guess I am lucky to have such wonderful friends who keep me delightfully insane!!!

And I still don't have an answer my sons would be able to process - luckily, he's forgotten the question.

Coconuts are people too

Just because I am a coconut doesn’t mean you pretend I don’t have any feelings.
Have you ever wondered how I feel when you grab a sickle and vigorously hack off my coiffure? And do you really think I enjoy having straws stuck into me?
Coconuts are people too. We too have the right to be heard. Or don’t we?


Ah, that is one bunch of sexy girls coming this way. Maybe one of them would pick me up, fondle me and suck me dry. Maybe even two, working in tandem.

Alright, time to create an impression. Pass those shades!

What music would they play?

Got tagged on this forward -
This is my album cover! If you have a spare 15mins...
1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random... Read More”
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to "Random quotations"
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Never thought it would work, but this album cover does seem rather professional, doesn't it? Is that how random music has actually becomes?

And any thoughts on the kind of music they play?

Sixteen Things

Sixteen random things about me - though, I am not sure if anything can really be totally random -there has to be some order to everything, right?

1. Growing up, I wanted to be a scientist of some kind – graduated in Physics, but shifted fields after a year of Masters.

2. In high school, I actually wrote and directed a play that was staged in the most prestigious auditorium in Calcutta – unfortunately, I never thought to preserve the script, and have even forgotten the story now.

3. There was a time when I could effortlessly rattle off sports statistics – today, I am not even sure who is the captain of the Indian cricket team.

4. I never thought I would be able to accept my first child if it was not a girl. By the time the second one came around, I preferred the idea of having two boys to having a girl and a boy.

5. When I see a cockroach or a lizard, I either ignore them or flick them out of the way, and I find it quite hilarious to meet people who seem scared of those harmless creatures.

6. My current hairstyle is exactly the same one I had when I was ten years old – wonder what that says about my style quotient?

7. I absolutely love knitting and crochet – wish the weather in Bombay were more conducive to wool-craft.

8. I was foolish enough to travel to Brazil without knowing a word of the language or possessing an English-Portuguese dictionary – don’t get me started on how I struggled to get a glass of water at a restaurant.

9. The only exams I have ever flunked (and yes, I have flunked exams) have been the Hindi language ones – strangely, the first language I learnt was Hindi.

10. I had a massive crush on Stefan Edberg, the tennis player –does anyone even remember him now?

11. I got my driving license the year I turned thirty, and learnt to drive five years later.

12. One of the questions I hate answering is, “Which part of India are you from?” Do they want to know where my ancestors have squatted ever since they came down from the trees, or do they want to know where I was born, or where I spent my childhood, or where I grew up, or….. I am an Indian – period.

13. By the time I was three years old, I spoke three languages reasonably fluently.

14. I took my first swimming lessons less than a year ago, and love the pool now. Who says you are ever too old to acquire new skills?

15. The pair of jeans I bought for myself when I started working more than a dozen years back still fit me quite comfortably – let us not talk about all those intervening years when I struggled to even push my legs into them.

16. Among other things, I want to run a full marathon some day- that is probably the only one of my dreams that is ever likely to come true.

A word

Got this of Facebook - answers to all the questions in a-word only - it is fun, and pretty revealing.


1. Where is your cell phone? nearby

2. Your significant other? imagination

3. Your hair? wild

4. Your mother? worrying

5. Your father? missed

6. Your favorite thing? RayaNaman

7. Your dream last night? vivid

8. Your favorite drink? water

9. Your dream/goal? happiness

10. What room you are in? kids

11. Your hobby? day-dreaming

12. Your fear? fear

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy

14. Where were you last night? bed

16. Muffins? no

17. Wish list item? time

18. Where you grew up? calcutta

19. Last thing you did? cleaned

20. What are you wearing? nightsuit

21. Your TV? off

22. Your pets? none

23. Friends? available

24. Your life? busy

25. Your mood? tired

26. Missing some one? no

27. Car? dinky

28. Something you're not wearing? perfume

29. Favorite store? bookstore

30. Your summer? hot

31. Your favorite color? blue

32. When is the last time you laughed? now

33. Last time you cried? weekend

34. Three people who email me? friends, family, work

35. Three of my favorite foods? cheese, pasta, veggies

36. Three places I would rather be right now? bed, gym, library