Why I do not celebrate Mothers' Day

 If I define myself at all, it is as "mother".

Becoming a mother was a life altering experience for me. It was not easy for a Type A personality to accept that precisely nothing was in her control.

Someone who stomped through life with the casual arrogance of one who believed she could do anything soon realised that practically every woman she encountered knew more than her.

It was humbling to know that babies don't come with instruction manuals. Initially, I made flow charts to determine why the baby cried- is he hungry, wet, hot, cold....., or plain fussy. But I soon surrendered them, and started relying on that most in-exact of things-instinct.

Becoming a mother taught me humility. It taught me fear. It taught me compassion.

It made me who I am.

YET, the only thing I do on Mothers' Day is wish my mother and thank her for being my mother.

Because there are many who are not mothers.

There are women who choose not to be mothers.

There are women who want to be mothers but are not able.

There are women who crave to be mothers but their situation forces them to delay.

There are mothers who lost their babies.

There are mothers who lost older children.

There are mothers who chose to abort a child, but still live with the guilt of doing so.

There are children who lost their mothers.

There are adults who lost their mothers.

There are mothers who were never there emotionally for their children

There are mothers who are disappointed in their child

There are mothers who disapprove of their life choices and keep away

Even a relationship as romaticised as the one between a mother and her child, is not always what it is made out to me.

To all those people, Mothers' Day is a travesty. It is a reminder of what they do not have. And a celebration which isn't inclusive isn't worth celebrating.

But, to all the mothers suffering from self doubt (and I doubt if there are too many who do not), I will just quote -

"There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." 

What's the purpose?

“If you had one wish, what would you wish for”, a recent survey asked over 200 children in the 7 to 12 years age group. World peace. Education for All. Religious Harmony. Were the answers the majority of the respondents replied.

I was stunned. My kids are more socially conscious than most others their age, but had I asked them the same question, I know their replies would have been more in the nature of i-pads and skateboards. I read the fine print- “replies prompted”, they clarified. What’s the purpose of conducting such a survey when the answers are prompted?
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 A Drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.

I discovered cooking

Mine is a family of fussy eaters. Of people who think nothing of leaving their food untouched and ordering greasy takeaway. Never a passionate cook, I stopped cooking a long time back. Till I realised I could cook for myself. Recipes my mother used to make, and which I had almost forgotten about. Recipes given by friends. Recipes sourced from the internet. Cooking became fun again. And with me spending more time in the kitchen, my cooking became more palatable to the family.

Though I have been cooking for over 25 years, this is the year when I discovered Cooking.

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Despite the fact that the hubby doesn't have egg yolk, in all these years of married life, I clung to my principles of never baking an eggless cake. The first eggless cake I baked was for his 40th birthday, and it came out really well. This photograph of the chocolate-banana cake forms a part of my Pictorial Flashback of 2012.

The purpose of festivals

Sharad Poornima.

The full moon night when the moon is closest to the Earth. People believe that if they offer a milk based dessert to the moon before consuming it, they will be blessed with good health in the coming year. In the days before high-rises and pollution, many families would have, what amounts to, a moonlight picnic dinner on Sharad Poornima. Whether the moon actually blessed the food or not, we do not know, but everyone sure had fun.

And shouldn’t that be the whole purpose of festivals?

I did my bit, and make something sweet for the kids.

“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”
― Mark Twain

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This is the fourth year that I am going to be a part of NaBloWriM. The Plan is to elaborate on a quote that touched my heart- let's see how far this takes me. If I can tie it in with the writing prompt, so much the better!

My Son, My Inspiration

Not only is he the youngest in the class, my (nearly) six year old is also the smallest. That also makes him one of the slowest, even if not actually the slowest. By the time he reached the finish line of the 100 meters race in school, the winners had been declared. And yet, there he is flying over the tape- giving it his best, because he could not do otherwise.

My Son is going to be my Inspiration when I run the marathon on Sunday.  I hope I can give it my all, and do so with a smile.

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A drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.

Are Festivals worth it?

There was a time when I used to celebrate all the major festivals at home. Not necessarily because I believe in the rituals, but because I thought it was good for the kids to have a strong cultural foundation, so they could take their own decisions later on life. I would drive myself crazy putting up appropriate floral decorations, making sweets, dressing the kids in traditional wear.

Till I realized nobody really enjoyed it.

I’ve now decided not to celebrate any more festivals at home. At least I no longer wear myself out, and them scream because I am tired.
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Flashback 2011- October

The photograph was taken on Diwali, the Festival of Lights- maybe the last time I celebrate any festival at home. The picture, taken in October, forms a part of my Pictoral Flashback of 2011.

Turning Forty

If I meet my 30 year old self, what would I tell her?

Would I tell her that 2 children and 10 years later, she will be fitter, stronger and slimmer than she dreams possible? Would I tell her that every difficult choice she makes will only lead her to yet another one, but that the journey will be well worth it? Would I tell her that she’ll not recognise who she will eventually become?

I would tell her all that. And one more thing I would tell her- to cherish who she is, because she is worth being cherished.

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 Flashback 2011- February

The photograph, taken on Valentine's Day never fails to remind me that while diamonds may add to a girl's charms, nothing makes a woman as beautiful as experience. This photograph forms a part of my Pictoral Flashback of 2011.

150 followers

The first year of blogging, I blogged in the dark. If anyone other than people personally known to me read my posts, I do not know. For weeks, even months, I would churn out a post a day every day, and get no comments. When I now go back and read some of those posts, I am amazed. How did I motivate myself to maintain a fairly consistent standard, without any feedback?

A year back, Tami started blogging. Following her example, I started commenting on blogs, even following them. I made a bunch of new friends, all of whom I knew by name, and who’s blogs I followed regularly. The number of followers climbed up to the twenties and remained there for months.

Then I took part in Arlee Bird’s A to Z Challenge, and the number of followers started going up everyday. Fifty followers was a number I never dreamt I would reach, by the second week of May, I had reached a 100. Life was beyond hectic at that time, and I missed celebrating entering three digits.

I thought 125 followers could be a good milestone to celebrate, but by the time I noticed, I had gone beyond that. Would I never get to celebrate my wonderful followers?

Then on my blog-iversay, Journaling Woman became my 150th follower!!!

While I have always said, and still maintain that the number of followers I have doesn't say anything about me or my blog, I would be hypocritical if I say that I am not overwhelmed by the number.

So, Celebrations!!!

I would love to do a giveaway to celebrate the Anniversary and the Milestone, but living in India makes it rather hard. The postage on almost anything I choose to give away is likely to end up being more than the value of the giveaway itself!!! And yet, I adore each one of you, and want to give you something.

When I was still mulling about it, I saw that Al had decided to celebrate his blog-iversary by giving away three 8x10 photographs taken by him. I loved the idea so much, I decided to steal it and give away three photographs taken by me to one lucky winner.

The rules to enter the give away:

- Leave a comment on this post on or before July 20

- Be a follower of my blog (new followers are welcome)

- For additional points, tell me which of the photographs on my blog are your favourite

I will pick a random winner and contact them to decide on the three photographs.

If you do not win, and you still like any of my photographs, let me know, and I can send you the photographs in the highest resolution that I have so you can print them out yourself.

And whether you choose to enter my giveaway or not, please enter Al’s at Publish or Perish. Not only does he live in one of the most beautiful countries in the world (I refuse to tell you which one- visit and find out), he is such a good photographer, any of his photographs can grace a living room wall.

And since I am not sure if I have told you or not- thank you, everyone. Every single one of you has enriched my life in some way or the other, and I adore you all.

Thank you!

Blog-iversary

“Could you could contribute to our blog once a month”, my boss of four months asked me.

“I guess I can”, I replied.

“I wouldn’t normally ask”, he clarified. “But it would be nice to have a view from the ground.”

“I’ll give it a shot”, I assured him.

“You don’t have to write much. Just throw in a lot of pictures and describe them.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“The first few posts may be hard”, he said. “But after that you should discover your voice.”

I nearly snorted. Should I have just told him I have been blogging for two years?

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Yes, you heard it right. It was on July 8, 2008 that the first post went up on Coffee Rings Everywhere, and except one day in November 2009, I haven't missed a single day.

Time to gather the balloons and celebrate, don't you think?

Today is also the day when my first post is up at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash. Head there, grab a coffee, and read a requime to the Cafe Steinbeck, one of the finest places in the world.

And thank you everyone for your supportive comments on yesterday's post. It never fails to amaze me how, when I am so often misunderstood by people around me, people I have never met, and who I may never meet are able to offer exactly the kind of comfort that I need.

Thank you.

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A drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.