Monday, September 14, 2009

Three friends

For the last week, my mother has been sitting with my older one every evening, taking down the story that he dictates. As he's grown in confidence, 'the Storyteller' has been getting more possessive about his work, and has not been allowing her to correct either the grammer or the flow of the story.
She's not too happy with this effort, but I rather like it. His narrative technique could do with a bit of polishing, but he is two months short of his sixth birthday, and still speaks English only as a second language.

Three friends - by the Storyteller

One day there was a Lion. He was very hungry. He went to the meat shop. Afterwards he took some meat. Then the lady said, “The meat is finished. Go away, go to another meat shop.” But he didn’t know where the other meat shop was.

Then he went back to the jungle. He called one animal, and its name was Tiger. The lion said to the tiger, “then get a meat tree”. The tiger went and found a meat tree. The lion said, “I am going to eat. You also eat, Tiger.”

Then one more animal was very fast. His name was Cheetah, and cheetah was running very fast. Then the cheetah dashed the lion and tiger. Then the lion said, “Who pushed me will become our friend.” Cheetah said, “I pushed you.”

Then all three became friends.

The End
Written on 9/9/9 at 7:30 pm
I wonder if I am doing the right thing in not editing the story to suit 'my style'.


dipali said...

I like the unedited stuff by kids:)

Anonymous said...

totally right - unedited version best - particularly as you are not correcting his 'grammer' now mum! was that subliminal or what!!
children write the best stories anyway. Takes after his mater, he does.

ritu said...

quite a storyteller! I want to read all his stories.

Watery Tart said...

I like the unedited too. It is precious as it is, but will also mark a milestone to look back on as he makes progress (for him) and make you yearn to go back in time when he is 14 and sassing at you about what a terrible mother you are. (not that I know anything about that)

Lisa said...

Aww, I love this! How clever his idea of a meat tree. I agree that keeping it unedited is the way to go. It is more precious hearing his "voice."

Rayna M. Iyer said...

Thanks everyone. Yes, I too thought the unedited version was best, because it is him, but Mum's a retired school teacher and obsessive about grammer and spellings.

@ Tami - that is something I never thought of.
And of course we know nothing about sassy high schoolers.

@ Ritu - you will get to read them all, I promise.

@ Lisa - it is rather smart, isn't it? He even plants chocolates to get chocolate trees - and no, he hasn't yet read Naraina

@ Marian - children do write the most imaginative stories, don't they - wish life didn't have to knock that imagination out of them.


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