Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Why?

“Mamma, may I?”
“No!”
“Why?”
“Because, …”
“But why?”
“I just told you.”
“Okay.”
Two minutes later, the conversation repeats itself. It is a different thing they want to do, and different reason I give for not doing it, but the entire conversation flows along the same predictable lines.”


Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Do I need to control as much as I do? Would it really hurt if I let them do what they want, and find out for themselves why they shouldn’t have done so?

And sometimes, just sometimes, touching that street-light makes a very pretty picture.
_____
Drabble (n) - an extremely short work exactly one hundred words in length. The purpose of the drabble is brevity and to test the author's ability to express interesting and meaningful ideas in an extremely confined space.

21 comments:

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

Aww, they'll realise one day why you say no. But, let 'em learn for themselves sometimes (unless the consequences are majorly hurtful), it can't hurt to let them eat a bit of mud someimes and realise that it tastes like crap. Yeah, weird analogy, ... hmm. anyway, let them feel the sting, then they won't do again :)

ladyfi said...

Great picture! Let them make more pretty pictures... kids don't usually learn by us telling them what to do, but by trying it out for themselves...

slommler said...

It is hard to know when to say no and when to let go. Follow your heart!
Hugs
SueAnn

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

How you brought back memories of when mine were young.If I said no they'd keep on saying "Why?"

Children never change but they do eventually
learn.

Yvonne.

Tabitha Bird said...

Yep. I have this conversation about 20 times every hour with my three and six year olds :)

I understand your pain :)

Christine Danek said...

I did a whole post on my 4 yr old asking Why. So cute though and I love the picture.

Elisabeth said...

And if you'd kept on saying no, you would not have that wonderful photo.

Sometimes a little lenience goes a long way, not too much mind.

Ellie said...

Great photo; I can really relate! It is a constant struggle, but one worth holding your ground. Our children keep testing the water and we have to keep reminding them, it may be too hot, too cold, not yet, til we think they are ready! Hang in there~

Karen Walker said...

Tough one, Rayna. But the photo is gorgeous. As someone else said, trust yourself.
Karen

Watery Tart said...

You're such a good mom. When I sit here logically (at my desk at work) I think--let them make the smaller decisions with the smaller consequences and only stop them when it matters. In practice though, it makes a different how TIRED I am, how well THEY'VE been behaving... What I permit one day, I might NOT if everything has been going badly. It's why I'm not the primary parent, though I don't know my husband is any better about it--just less aware and so less bothered by it (and always stricter, so there is consistency in that)

Sugar said...

I let mine make their choices, because, they do need to learn. If they bleed, I say..well, you wanted to do (whatever they did) lol. J/k... kinda. It is hard to sit back and watch them try to do things that we know are not working or going to fail, but that's part of being a mommy I suppose :) Letting them grow.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If it wasn't going to kill them, I'd let them find out the hard way.
Probably a good thing I'm not a parent!

Clarissa Draper said...

I've been wondering the same thing too. Sometimes a no is enough, sometimes you need to add a reason. Sometimes I just give in.

CD

Saumya said...

Oh gosh, this brings back memories of conversations I used to have with my mother. It must be so difficult to strike a balance between explaining, forbidding, and just allowing.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You're a brave women - that would drive me nuts!

Marjorie said...

Sometimes I say no because it will be way more trouble for me than I want. With as many kids as I have less is always more.

Jemi Fraser said...

One of the great joys of parenthood - using the broken record technique "No... because I said so... No... because I said so..." They do make better choices because of your guidance early on!

Mason Canyon said...

Yes, a very pretty picture.

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Jay said...

Wonderful post! It depends upon what would they want to do. Sometimes you have to let them be other times you have to control them because it's for their own good.
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Rayna M. Iyer said...

@ Jessica - weird analogy, but makes perfect sense. I guess it is best to just let them learn somethings for themselves

@ Fiona - that is the best way to learn, isn't it?

@ SueAnn - very very hard.

@ Yvonne - so true- they don't change, but they do learn

@ Tabitha - same ages as mine. Yes, it is a challenging age, btu which age isn't

@ Christine - I know, and I read and re-read it, and commented too.

@ Elisabeth - just what I thought

@ Ellie - it is a tight rope walk, isn't it?

@ Karen - thank you

@ Tami - you said it. It all depends on me, and how I am feeling on that one day

@ Sugar - they don't like me helping them, so I don't even try. Tough, though.

@ Alex - no, you make perfect sense

@ Clarissa - ditto

@ Saumya - near impossible to get right, I guess. Because whatever you do, you can never be sure it was right

@ Diane - what makes you think it doesn't drive me nuts?

@ Marjorie - yes, you have too many kids for you to let them be

@ Jemi - somehow, that doesn't seem adequate any more. Wonder why? Is it any easier being a teacher, Jemi

@ Mason - thank you

@ Jay - logically yes. But like Hart said, it often boils down to how you are feeling

Brand Smith said...

Really fantastic though and beautiful picture.

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