A couple of months back, I had blogged about creating the attitude that accepts that things will go wrong and to be prepared for them.
Most people do not really get it when I try to tell them about it. They accuse me of being pessimistic or defeatist. It is actually neither. It is simply a case of accepting that many things are not under your control, and that they could go wrong. It doesn’t mean not doing your best, or about giving up even before starting. It is only a question of being prepared, so you can deal with disappointments with equanimity.
That I missed posting on my blog yesterday, without getting unduly perturbed about it, proves I have internalized the lesson.
When I started blogging on July 8, 2008, I intended posting every day till such time as I was able to do so. In a couple of weeks, posting daily became a habit, and I would get really worked up on days when the internet connection played up, or the words just refused to come. 26/11 was one of those days- the Internet was down, and try as I did, I just wasn’t able to post. As the clock ticked closer to midnight, I got more and more agitated about missing a day, and when I found out about the Terror Attacks, one of my earliest thoughts was ‘at least, I now have an excuse for not posting on time.’
A few months later I discovered scheduled posting, and life became much simpler. When I was in hospital, I wrote my posts in advance, and had the post appear promptly every day till I was able to take charge of posting them in real time.
But the last couple of weeks have been so chaotic, I haven’t been able to build up my bank of posts. And yesterday, when the internet decided to play up, I realized I was going to miss a day. The original me would have fretted and fumed. Tried all sorts of tricks with the modem, and would perhaps only have stopped at throwing it on the floor and jumping on it.
The new me did none of those. She accepted that the world would not end if she missed posting for a day. And she forgot about it till the next morning.
This, therefore, is the post that should have appeared yesterday, but which is appearing today, because the world is imperfect, and the only sensible thing to do is to accept the imperfection and embrace it.
And if you think I have attained nirvana and am perfectly calm and composed all the time, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I still lose my temper a lot, but it is much less than it used to be, and for reasons that justify it a lot more.