Friday, August 13, 2010

A fine balance

A friend is going through a crisis. It could have been avoided- for years, we've tried to get her to see she's running down a dead-end, but failed. Now, there is only one course of action- the one that could have taken anytime in the past.

She needs a shoulder to cry on. But I can't resist trying to get her to see reason. It is a fine balance. You want to be there for her, but you don't want her to get over it so well, she continues on the same destructive path.

Why are things always so hard?

A drabble is a story told in exactly 100 words.

And do drop by at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash for a Motivational Friday Post.


Clarissa Draper said...

I'm sure my parents banged their heads against the wall with me. But I was one of the people who always had to learn the hard way. I don't know if anything they could have said would have changed my actions. Do I wish I'd listened? Yes.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

That photo is the perfect illustration for your story!

Michele Emrath said...

Like Clarissa said, my parents must have hit up against this with me so often! Already, I see this pattern with my kids and I just want to swoop in and save them.

But with adults it's a bit different. You aren's responsible for them per se, but you took on a certain amount of responsibility when you accepted their friendship.

Balance is the only word for it. One option is to comfort and help now, and give her a serious talk afterwards. Best of luck to both of you!


Margot Kinberg said...

Rayna - I know exactly how you feel. In the end, people take their own decisions, but as a friend, it's so hard to watch someone teeter on the brink. I wish you all well...

Karen Walker said...

Hi Rayna,
This is such a tough one. Life is hard. That's actually the first sentence of one of my favorite books, "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. Perhaps you can offer your shoulder without trying to fix the problem and then, when things calm down, try reason.

slommler said...

This is a wicked problem! There is really no good answer. Your friend has to come to an awakening herself. Especially if she is not listening to her friends' warnings.
Good luck

Mary said...

Great post and illustration. Maybe the bricks should have been a tightrope.:)
That's a tough spot you're in.

LTM said...

you're a good friend~ :o)

Jules said...

Whew..that is hard. But tough love does contain love and nothing but good can come from love and caring. :)

I wish you peace, luck and lots of understanding.
Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Hart Johnson said...

That is so well put... not wanting them to recover TOO well... Have to still feel how awful something was in order to not end up there again.

Deb and Barbara said...

That you managed to encapsulate this conflict in 100 words is so amazing.

I agree, though, with the logic of 'everyone needs to learn their own lessons'. I don't even know if in cases like this their ears can hear good advice until their heart is ready to receive it.

Good luck! xo B

John Wiswell said...

Friendship can be its own tightrope walk. I'm a perpetual listener myself...

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Your friend knows you're there for her.....she will come in her own good time and you'll still be waiting with arms open wide.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

It's tough watching friends do stupid things.

dipali said...

All the best to your friend, and to you too. I hope she heeds your advice.

Rayna M. Iyer said...

@ Clarissa- you have described me.

@ Debra- thank you.

@ Margot- you are right. People have to figure it out for themselves eventually.

@ Karen- I took your advice, and did just that. Thank you.

@ SueAnn- it is hard for a person like me to do so, but I did take your advice. Thank you.

@ Leigh - sometimes I wonder...

@ Jules- thank you for your lovely words.

@ Hart- it is a tough one, isn't it? Because if she does get over it, she is only going to have the same thing happen to her over and over again.

@ Barbara- so true about the ears not hearing till the heart is ready.

@ John- most of the time, I am a listener too. But sometimes, you want to give that little push.

@ Yvonne - I do hope you are right.

@ Alex- very. Specially when they let the same stupid things happen again and again.

@ Dipali- thank you.


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