[On Banned Books Week, my thoughts on whether or not we should control what our children read]
My children were babies when the last of the Harry Potter books came out, and though we loved watching the first three movies, I was very clear that my children wouldn’t be allowed to read beyond book 4 till they were old enough to handle the adolescent angst. 12 was the arbitrary age I’d set, before which they would not be allowed to read Order of the Phoenix.
When the older one devoured the first three books before his
8th birthday, I realised that short of implementing a blanket ban,
there was little chance of me being able to keep him away from finishing the series
in a couple of weeks. I was also extremely conflicted. The Liberal in me detested
censorship of any kind- if I didn’t want people telling me which books to read
and which movies to watch, could I really stop my child from reading something
that gave him pleasure? While I wrestled with my conscience, my child finished
the series, and I consoled myself with the thought that while he had read
something I deeded age in appropriate, I had at least remained true to my
principles of not banning the written word.
Two years later, history repeated itself. The younger one,
too, galloped through the Harry Potter books long before the age when I thought
he should be reading them.
While the deed was done, I continued to worry. And the more I
thought about it, the more I was conflicted. Restricting reading to
age-appropriate books was different from banning a book, and as a parent didn’t
I have the right and the duty to ensure my children read according to their age.
The later books in the Harry Potter series dealt with complex emotions of death,
sexual attraction, romantic jealousy. Had I failed as a parent by allowing my children
to explore those themes long before they were ready for them? Should I have
controlled their reading a bit more? Surely there was a difference between a
parent telling her child “not yet”, and the state telling all people “never”.
July Blume’s essay on accelerated reading consoled me slightly.
Her theory was that children read over what they are not yet
ready to understand. So I might read the book and feel the full weight of Hermione’s
frustration when Ron refuses to recognise her feelings for him, but my eight
year old will probably just skim over that part and only remember the flock of
birds that Hermione conjured in her frustration up to attack Ron.
There were other things which they read and remembered, but
which they fully understood only a bit later. When an uncle that the children
were quite fond of passed away in a climbing accident, we debated whether or not
to break the news to them. I decided to, because tragic though it was, death is
a part of life, and I could not keep them insulated from it forever. Strangely,
they took it well. “Don’t feel so bad”, they told me, ”death is the start of a
new adventure, isn’t it”. They even quoted Dumbledore back to me- “Don’t pity
the dead. Instead pity the living. And above all pity those who live without
love.” My children had taken enough out of the books to be able to recall them
in a different context.
If as parents, we want to raise children who read, we need
to let them read what they want to read, not force them to read what we want
them to read. Children have more than enough books to read as a part of their
curriculum- if you give them yet another book on Planet Earth or a story that ‘improves’
them, they are almost certain to reject it. Instead, let them choose their own
books.
As parents, we may not approve of Captain Underpants, but
the books will make the children chuckle and what they will take away from it is
a healthy appreciation for word play. The myth is that comic books stunt the
reading capacity of children, but comic books also teach children to appreciate
the use of space and to articulate themselves with fewer words. We may find the
Wimpy Kid series repetitive, but as long as our children enjoy reading and
re-reading them, should we stop them?
All books, as Neil Gaiman says, build empathy because the
act of reading forces you to build on the words of the author to create your
own world. The characters in a book are as much your creation as they are that
of the author, and through them you learn to look at situations from the
perspective of other people. Yes, certain authors are boring and certain books
are repetitive, but why not let the children decide for themselves instead of
forcing our decision on them?
If you look at the list of books that have been banned from
various school libraries, many of them deal with themes like puberty, sexuality,
sexual ambiguity, masturbation and teen pregnancies. All these are issues that children
and adolescents confront in their daily lives. When Nico confesses his love for
Percy Jackson, it will not create homosexual tendencies in boys, but it will reassure
an adolescent struggling with his homosexuality that he is not alone.
“Gender Queer” which is the memoir of a bisexual, asexual young
person coming to terms with sexual and gender identity topped the list of books
that have been targeted this year. Many people fear the book, because it
challenges the conventional cis-het gender orthodoxy. Yet, it is an important resources
for trans, queer and non-binary young people who are struggling with their
identity and may not have an adult role model in their life. Books like these,
far from being banned, should be made accessible to young people who may need
them to better understand themselves or their friends.
Reading broadens our minds. Reading teaches us to look at
things from other perspectives. Reading empowers us to ask questions. Reading enables
us to challenge the status quo.
People who are comfortable with the status quo feel
threatened by readers, which is why they try to get books banned. Seek out the banned
books. Understand why they have been banned. And leave them hanging around
where your children can read them.
The ability to read books, all kinds of books, is the biggest gift we can give our children. Let’s do it for them.
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